How to Introduce BDSM to Your Partner

 

Most people would have heard about BDSM before, but not many know what it fully means. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Hearing some of these words may trigger a negative reaction in people but when BDSM is done correctly, what you will do in your session is discussed beforehand and is only done when there is mutual consent.

If you are thinking of introducing your partner to BDSM but are unsure of how to bring it up with them, keep reading to learn how you can get them on board.

Preparing Your Partner

Whether or not you can successfully introduce your partner to BDSM depends on how well you can explain things to them while keeping them comfortable. Here are some tips made by the team at Peachy BDSM for introducing your partner to BDSM:

Educate Yourself

Before you try to talk to your partner about BDSM, you better know what you’re talking about first. If you approach them with the idea of trying something new but don’t know much about it, they may not even take you seriously and become disinterested with the idea.

Having knowledge about BDSM will allow you to have a smooth conversation about BDSM. Not only will you be able to answer their questions and explain in detail what you want to try, your partner will be able to see that you are serious about trying it and trust that you know what you’re doing.

You will also be able to tell your partner how BDSM can bolster the intimacy of relationships, like telling them about aftercare and thinking of different ways you can tend to them after the session.

Having a Conversation About BDSM

Communicating clearly is a skill that is needed in different facets of life and talking to your partner about trying BDSM is no exception.

Firstly, you need to approach your partner with an open mind. They may not be interested in trying BDSM at all, which is something that you will need to respect if that is the case. Trying to force them to try BDSM may make them uncomfortable, damage your relationship and make them dislike the idea of BDSM even more, so don’t push the topic too far if it isn’t going well. If you communicate clearly and don’t overstep their boundaries, they will respect you more and your relationship will improve despite not getting to try BDSM with them.

Share Your Interests

There are a lot of different words and sexual acts that can be classed as BDSM. Being transparent about what you actually want to try will dispel any assumptions your partner has. You might just want to try bondage, or having them wear a ball gag but when they hear BDSM they may think about being controlled or pain inflicted from impact play.

Telling them what you want to do may allow them to compromise with you, which is better than nothing. See what they are willing to try and start from that, if things go well they may want to try things that they previously didn’t want to.

Work Together

Instead of buying all of the toys and BDSM gear you will use, make it a bonding experience for you and your partner. Exposing them to the things you want to try beforehand may relax your partner, making them more comfortable when the time comes to actually use them. They may even see something of interest and come up with suggestions of their own for your BDSM session.

If you see that they are still apprehensive about certain toys when you are buying them, you will have the insight to not be so rough when using that toy so you don’t turn them off during the session.

Picking the Right Time

Bringing up BDSM at the wrong time may doom your chances at getting to try it with your partner. If they’ve had a long day at work, didn’t get a lot of sleep or are stressed out, trying out something new in the bedroom may be the last thing they want to talk about.

Try choosing a time to talk about it when you think your partner will be more open minded and receptive to new ideas. Examples of good times can be after you’ve done cleaning around the house, put away laundry or after you’ve given them a relaxing massage or foot rub.

Conclusion

Your discussion about trying BDSM will depend on your ability to educate yourself, communicate and explain things clearly and tactfully choosing a time to bring it up with your partner. Whether you are successful in convincing them to try BDSM or not, you will be seen as a good partner by being honest with your interests and taking them seriously.