What Does BDSM Stand For?
BDSM is an acronym that represents Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. There are a lot of different acts that can fall under these categories, whether they are sexual or not.
Let's learn more about what each of these mean and how you can explore them if you’re curious.
Bondage
Bondage refers to physically restraining someone, whether that is with rope, handcuffs or even a spreader bar. It is usually practiced as a sexual act, but it can be enjoyed in non-sexual settings like practicing the art of shibari.
Bondage is one of the most common fetishes under the BDSM umbrella. It’s commonly used as an act of dominance or submission, as the person who gets restrained is left at the mercy of their dominant partner. This power play can provide both partners in many different ways; From the act of bondage, the physical sensation of being restrained, the feelings of helplessness from the sub, the feelings of control from the dom and even just seeing the sub tied up.
Discipline
Discipline in BDSM refers to the restraint of overt behaviour by setting rules to follow as well as punishments for when these rules are broken. The rules established by the dominant partner will allow them to reward their submissive partner when they are good.
Punishments are frequently used as a disciplinary action when rules are broken, regardless of if the sub broke them knowingly or accidentally. This ensures that they will be conscious of the rules set and ensure that they do not repeat their mistakes in the future. There are many forms of punishment, depending on what the dom likes and what the sub dislikes.
Different forms of punishment can include:
Dominance & Submission
Dominance and submission are also extremely common fetishes under the BDSM umbrella. People will naturally be more assertive or servile than others, which can be amplified during BDSM play.
Dominance
If the first thing you think of when it comes to dominance is rough sex, you may be surprised to hear that there’s a lot of different ways to enjoy and practice it. Let’s go through some of the different ways to exert dominance.
Physical Domination
This type of dominance includes bondage, impact, choking and even overpowering your partner. Physical domination is typically good for punishing your sub for breaking rules or misbehaving.
Lifestyle Domination
This type of dominance sees the dom take control of certain aspects of their sub’s life. This can include setting rules on their behaviour, diet, clothing and hairstyles. Subs will appreciate this kind of domination if they would like to feel their master’s presence outside of BDSM sessions.
Financial Domination
This kind of dominance has increased in popularity online, where a dom can demand a sub to pay them in exchange for pics, videos or for the satisfaction of being forced to pay a dom.
Not all forms of domination are physical, they’re also not for everyone either. If you’re intrigued, try it out and see if you and your partner enjoy it or not.
Submission
This role of obedience and servitude is reserved for those who are satisfied with serving a master, giving up control and complying to their will. Here are some different ways to practice submission.
Physical Submission
This type of submission releases control of your body to your master. This can lead to bondage, impact play, penetration and other sexual acts.
Lifestyle Submission
This type of submission will let your dom have more control of your everyday life with rules they set.
Another type of lifestyle domination is going through a whole day as an obedient slave. This can include getting drinks and food, giving massages, being used as a footrest or performing sexual acts for your master while they watch TV, read a book or use their computer.
Psychological Submission
This type of submission is almost like a personal rule that must be followed at all costs. This usually entails allowing your master to take photos or videos of you in vulnerable situations, followed up with threats of leaking them if you don’t do as they say.
Although the role of a submissive is commonly associated with a weak and agreeable person, this isn’t always the case. Strong men and women may enjoy the power play of being forced into a role that contrasts how they live in the real world.
Some of what we covered may sound intense, which is why it is important to communicate with your partner and agree on what limits you both have.
Sadism & Masochism (Sadomasochism)
Sadism and Masochism are fetishes that are collectively known as Sadomasochism. Sadists derive sexual pleasure from inflicting pain onto others (such as using impact toys), with masochists mirroring this and enjoying pain inflicted on them. This isn’t limited to physical pain either, and can include verbal and psychological variants.
Like all other sexual acts and fetishes, your partner must consent to participating in sadomasochism. If they don’t, your actions will make them uncomfortable and you will ruin the session or even the relationship you have with your partner.
It’s advised to talk with your partner beforehand to see if they are okay with trying it out, setting boundaries and safe words to ensure that there is no pressure to keep going if they decide that they aren’t into it.
Conclusion
BDSM requires more than just casual interest, as you and your partner will need to prepare, research and communicate beforehand to make sure you can enjoy your session safely. Submissive partners will give up control to their dominant, who in turn is trusted to not overstep their boundaries and stop when they hear a safe word.
Consent is essential especially for BDSM play, as the acts performed by doms are a lot more intense than regular sex. Whether it is written consent or verbal consent beforehand, things can change in the heat of the moment. It’s up to both partners to be able to communicate what feels good, what doesn’t and if things need to stop.
With all of that said, you should be ready to explore the wonders of BDSM play now!